And this week's prize for gibberish goes to....

Elevation Church for their statement of faith, or, to use the modern idiom, "core values." Or, as they put it in their uber-cool but perhaps a bit creepy way at EC, 'The Code'......

Perhaps the Puppetmaster might offer a prize to anyone who can explain what core value 7 means.  It makes the debates in later Lutheran orthodoxy over the communication of properties look like exercises in limpid prose and clear communication:

7: We will continually increase our capacity by structuring for where we want to go, not where we are. We will remain on the edge of our momentum by overreacting to harness strategic momentum initiatives.

Quite.   Though I would advise you not to try to stay on the edge of your momentum at home. It can lead to serious injury and even death. EC Strategic Momentum Initiators are trained professionals who understand the physical risks involved and use specialised equipment in a controlled environment.